


gone gone gone

by Indigo_Penstrokes



Category: Newsies - All Media Types
Genre: Character Death, Drinking, F/F, just general angst and sadness folks, not graphic or on page
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-05-09
Updated: 2019-05-09
Packaged: 2020-02-29 06:07:59
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,336
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18772798
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Indigo_Penstrokes/pseuds/Indigo_Penstrokes
Summary: jojo fears for the worst when she wakes from a nightmare about losing buttons, but what the real world holds in store is so much worse than anything she could have dreamed of





	gone gone gone

JoJo tapped against a window she had visited a thousand times before, but she could barely hear the sound over her own labored breathing. She needed to know that Buttons was safe. 

After an infinite amount of time the window was thrown open, a bleary looking Buttons standing before it.

“JoJo?” Buttons asked, rubbing her eyes. 

JoJo all but flung herself through the open window, clutching onto Buttons for dear life. Tears were running down her face and soaking into Buttons shirt. She had never needed to hold someone as badly as she did then. 

“Jo, what's wrong. Talk to me,” Buttons whispered, pulling JoJo the rest of the way through the window and into her lap. She ran a hand through JoJo’s tangled hair, carefully working out some of the knots.

“I, I woke up and you were gone.” JoJo shook even harder as she choked out the words, her voice rough and raw from crying, “You were gone.” 

She felt tears drip onto her back, “I'm right here sweetheart, I’m always going to be here. I promise.” 

JoJo didn't say anything for a long time, the only sounds were coming from her ragged breaths and half silenced cries before she finally sobbed out, “I know.”

Another bout of tears wracked her frame, it made her feel small in Buttons’ arms, like she could break with the slightest movement. She felt like a boat lost in a hurricane with no way of knowing which way was up.

“It felt so real. The blood was everywhere, and I couldn't breathe.”JoJo buried her face in Buttons’ neck, she needed to know this was real and not part of the dream, “You were _gone_.” 

Buttons carefully took one of JoJo’s hands, “Feel this?” She put the hand over her own heart. 

JoJo nodded shakely, she felt the soft thrum of a heart beneath the worn cotton of Buttons’ nightshirt. It was steady and solid and so very _real_.

“That's what says I'm not going anywhere anytime soon.” Buttons sealed her words with a gentle kiss to JoJo’s forehead. “You got that?” 

JoJo nodded again, still not able to speak past the lump in her throat, but this time she returned the kiss. It was soft and sweet, a reminder that everything was going to be okay. That they were going to be okay. 

 

JoJo thought about that night a lot. The cruel irony of it all. She laughed at it as she took another drink from the bottle she'd stolen from Race, he would kill her for it later, but she was too drunk to care. The world seemed a lot less cold when one was drunk and up nearly eight stories in the air. 

She swung her legs back and forth, the cold metal of the fire escape digging into her thighs. It wasn't the same fire escape from tat night, no it was the one at Duane Street Lodging, not the one belonging to the Davenport's nearly a mile away. But New York air was New York air no matter where you were, it was all the same smoke filled, dust laden, barely breathable air. 

JoJo laughed again, the cold sound ringing off the buildings. Three weeks to the day and she hadn't gone to see them yet. Catherine probably needed help with Marianne now that…

She took another long drink, relishing in the burn it left down her throat. She wasn't going to think about that. She couldn't think about that and not want to hurl herself into the street below.

But she was. It was all she ever thought about anymore. A swath of blue would catch her eye, or a little newsie would rip their sleeve. Even passing by the baker that would always offer them leftover muffins made her want to break down into tears. She saw her in flowers and clouds, boring headlines and stale biscuits. 

Buttons was everywhere except the places she should have been. 

She wasn't early to the distribution gate. She didn't have a flock of littles trailing around her on Saturdays at the lodging house. She wasn't there with a joke and a smile when JoJo had a bad day. 

She was really gone this time. 

No more patchwork dress. No more smiling brown eyes. No more secret glances across crowded rooms. No more late nights spent watching the few stars they could. 

All of it was gone. Her entire world was gone.

“You were going to be the best damn seamstress this city had ever seen, and I was going to be right there by your side changing the world. I was gonna be a reporter or whatever it is that Kathy is.” Her eyes traveled to the stars, “But I'm not anymore. You’re not anymore”

Images of a runaway cart and blood, so much blood, flashed through her memory. She could almost hear her own screams again. 

She drank the last of the bottle’s contents before dropping it to the street below. The sound of breaking glass was a beautiful cacophony to JoJo’s ears. 

She leaned back against the rough brick of the lodging house. Part of her wanted to get up and fall like the bottle, falling sounded nice. She wondered if it would hurt at all. 

“It might not hurt you, but it would hurt the rest of us.” A soft voice startled her from her thoughts. 

“I wasn't really gonna,” She slurred, trying to get her eyes to focus on the grey silhouette in the window. It was hard when the world swam and her thoughts leaked out her mouth.

“Sure you weren't.” The figure leaned out the window, revealing himself to be Finch, “C’mon JoJo let’s get you inside.” 

“Don’t wanna,” She mumbled again, shaking her head like a stubborn little kid. “Too many people.”

That was a lie. Finch probably saw right through it. There weren’t too many people in there, it was just lacking the one she needed most. 

“Alright, we’ll stay out here then.” He climbed the rest of the way through the window, coming to settle right next to JoJo. A few beats passed by in silence, neither one willing to break it before FInch looked up and said, “The stars are nice aren’t they?” 

One little phrase, that’s all it took and JoJo was crying again. Big heaving sobs, as if all the tears she hadn’t cried were surfacing tenfold. She buried her face into Finch’s shoulder. “I miss her so much. I just want her back. I need her back.” 

“I know Jo, trust me I know.” He turned to hold her close. “I’m so sorry you lost her.”

Once she started it seemed the words wouldn’t stop their nearly unintelligible flow, “She was going to open a tailor shop and everything. We had plans for a life together. We were going to live happily ever after just like a fairytale. Why didn’t we get to Finch? Why didn't we get to?”

“The world is a cruel place for people like us. We're always working, always trying to get out of the gutter, and if that doesn’t get us, something else will.” Even in her inebriated state JoJo felt those words had a double meaning. 

_People like us_. Newsies. Street urchins. Kids without a home.

_People like us_. The ones who fell in love with people they shouldn’t. 

She just nodded, her eyes starting to droop closed under the weight of the world. And as much as she hated to admit it Finch was warm and steady, something she needed right then, “I think I’m falling asleep.”

“You've earned it. I’ll be here when you wake up.” He adjusted the smallest bit until they were both comfortable enough to sleep.

As her mind drifted into the world of sleep and dreams she realized the world was still just as empty as it was before, but maybe she was a little less alone than she had thought. And maybe that would have to be enough.

**Author's Note:**

> comments and kudos always make my day, so let me know what you liked!  
> come yell at me on tumblr @ad-astra-de-luna


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